One struggle my clients consistently come up with is reading and recalling what they read. Instead of relaxing and reading, as so many do, they become frustrated and give up because their minds keep wandering. They can’t focus or sustain attention, making it hard for them to retain what they read. That makes homework and test-taking very difficult. In school, it appears their reading comprehension is poor. I certainly relate to their frustration.
I wrote about this in my book, “Unraveling ADHD.”
“Something that pleased Mom was my love for reading. I simply couldn’t get enough. Every week, the bookmobile came to my elementary school. I would quickly finish all my chores just so I could get new library books. When I was done, I walked as fast as I could until I was out of sight of our house Then I ran the last block and a half! Once I was there, I pulled at least ten books off the shelves, checked them out, and hurried home. I showed my mom every book. Then she’d ask me to read to her while she made her delicious spaghetti sauce. I’d glance up often just to see Mom smiling at me in approval.”
Reading was fun when I was a child. There wasn’t a quiz, and no one asked me to tell them what I read. Mom just listened and smiled. Somewhere around the 5th grade, I began to believe reading was a waste of time because I couldn’t recall what I had just read. And answering test or quiz questions? That was not going to happen.
One time, while taking a test in my history class, I remember getting so angry and frustrated because I couldn’t remember anything I had studied. In my anger, I simply drew an X on the paper and took a failing grade.
I tried to read my assignments, but I wasn’t retaining anything I read. I became anxious and felt humiliated. I was sure I was just plain stupid — which I was not! All the help the school provided was not working. So, I never read another book until thirty-five years later.
Thirty-five years later, I learned I had ADHD and how it affected my ability to read. I made it my mission to teach myself strategies to help read and retain. In my third year of college — at age 51 — I got my first B on a test. I started to cry, and the young man next to me said, “Are you alright”? I was. I was overwhelmed that my reading skills worked, and for the first time, I earned a B. Telling that to that concerned young man would have sounded pretty strange.
So. When it came time to develop my logo, there was no question about what would be included — a young woman relaxing and enjoying a book. Whenever I see my logo, I’m reminded of just how important reading is. And I realize that overcoming my inability to read — and being able to recall what I had read — no longer makes me feel inadequate. I now give back by teaching my clients with ADHD the skills they will need to regain the joy of reading. Seeing their smiling faces is so rewarding.
I still use those skills. Today, I am again the avid reader I was when I was a child.
Joyce Kubik